DuckDB lifetimes

[joseph-isaacs]

Closes #6581 with different naming convention

This PR removes the janky owned: bool flag and uses the same C API wrapping model as openssl.

We macro Foo and FooRef structs for owned and borrowed pointers respectively. Owned pointers invoke their destructor on drop.

[codspeed-hq]

Merging this PR will degrade performance by 27.45%

❌ 4 regressed benchmarks
✅ 949 untouched benchmarks
⏩ 1459 skipped benchmarks¹

⚠️ Please fix the performance issues or acknowledge them on CodSpeed.

Performance Changes

	Mode	Benchmark	BASE	HEAD	Efficiency
❌	Simulation	take_map[(0.1, 0.1)]	925.7 µs	1,091.7 µs	-15.2%
❌	Simulation	take_map[(0.1, 0.05)]	769.8 µs	865 µs	-11%
❌	Simulation	take_map[(0.1, 0.5)]	2.1 ms	2.6 ms	-19.88%
❌	Simulation	take_map[(0.1, 1.0)]	3.5 ms	4.9 ms	-27.45%

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_{Comparing ji/ngates/duckdb-lifetimes (7e29785) with develop (99f2ce2)}

Footnotes

1. 1459 benchmarks were skipped, so the baseline results were used instead. If they were deleted from the codebase, click here and archive them to remove them from the performance reports. ↩